It was 4:30am. I just got a text from my friend Anita. She told me she was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. I'm devistated. She is a woman of God. She lives and breathes the bible. How can this happen?
She met this man on a dating website. His name is Troy. Troy and Anita fell deeply in love. They would talk on the phone all day long and longed for eachother being that he was all the way in California. They were a great match. They would use face time all the time, I got to meet him a few times and I could see it in their eyes it was a deep love. It was all I could do was to pull her away from the security gates at the airport when he arrived and left Portland after coming to spend all his free time with her. I thought they were perfect for eachother. Man, was I wrong....
After she was diagnosed, she had the heat breaking news for her soon to be husband. He took it hard. He then told her that he can't deal with it. He said he can't be a caregiver and will never be. He has a life he has to live. How can someone be so cruel? So he left her... Leaving her to mend after a surgery that needed to happen. Something was pressing against her spinal cord, leaving her almost paralyzed. This was so sudden. Everything happened so fast. She had been fine... just some symptoms of a bladder infection/kidney infections. It was all ok? Why did this happen to her? I thought this thing people call "God" was so great and you could rely on him to help you thru life... and he gives people cancer? Wow... sad.
She had to leave his house, moving back to Oregon. She is trying to get thru chemo now by herself. I'm here for her but her only option was to stay with a friend in Pendleton. That's far away. I'm so sad for hrr. I wish there was something I could do? But I can't. I'm do far away.
I have so many questions. For her, about life, about cancer and about this "God" guy.... I've heard a lot about him... but I know i have my own beliefs. How can I pray when I don't believe? I was convinced once... I tried, but the more I looked into it and looked at real life... the earth and how things were created... I believe in the universe. Evolution. I may be stubborn but hey, I have never seen anything good from people praying. Good try tho....
I will hold her in my hesrt. I love the woman. She's a blessing in my life. We have drifted a but apart because of the distance. .. I don't get to see her. What a fucking dickhead for leaving her. How could you just give up on someone you love? That's horrible! Whst a piece of shit! Obviously it wasn't meant to be. Glad she sees his true colors before they were ever married. So much for thru the good and the bad times, thick and thin..
Life.... a roller coaster of emotion. Hard times were supposed to be temporary? That's what I was told? Hu.
That's all..... I'm in shock....
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